Pictured above is possibly the most awesome toy in the history of childhood: the G.I. Joe U.S.S. Flagg aircraft carrier. If you weren’t a kid in the 80s, you may have a hard time understanding precisely how world-shakingly cool this thing was. It was the size of a small dining room table. It had planes. It had hatchways. It had missiles. It had elevators. It had trucks. It had vehicles. It had rotating guns. It had so much room in it that it could carry all of your G.I Joe figures and all of your Star Wars figures at the same time. It was that awesome!
I remember salivating over this when I first saw it in toy stores back in 1985, but there was simply no hope I would ever own one. I don’t remember what these retailed for, but I know it was over $100, and that was way out of reach for cash-strapped parents back then, even at Christmas. Plus, you literally needed a minivan or a pickup truck to get the damn thing out of the store, and then it was so big that once assembled it would take up half a normal kid’s bedroom (unless said kid lived in a warehouse or something). It was the absolute epitome of 80s conspicuous consumption. Only the rich pampered kids had the G.I. Joe aircraft carrier. But everyone wanted one.
There was one kid in my school (I was in the 7th grade in 1985) who had the G.I. Joe aircraft carrier. He was absolutely insufferable, but as soon as I found out he had it I made friends with him anyway, hoping he’d invite me over to his house to play with it! Alas, no such luck.
I’m not the only one who thinks this thing is cool. You can find some for sale on Ebay–the above picture is from an Ebay sale being offered the week this blog goes to press–but you’d better be prepared to pay top dollar. The seller of this one wants $999 for it. Another one, in even better condition, is selling for a whopping $1529!
If Zombies of Byzantium ever makes me rich, you know what you’re going to find on my coffee table someday!